Part 2 of My Own Personal Hell
- lily
- Dec 2, 2020
- 16 min read
Just realized this means I have to be grateful to L*na D*nham for giving this man a career
11. Inside Llewyn Davis (2013): The ultimate cat movie
This has been on my list of things to watch since it came out. Being a Coen brothers fan, naturally I was going to get to this film but it just took an extra push. Originally I'd assumed that push would be Garrett Hedlund, but I think we all know what it was now. Though, to be fair, I watched this back in March and not in order with the rest of the films, so my memory of it isn't as tight. I do remember that my main take away from this was that *Beanie Feldstein voice* the titular Llewyn Davis (aka, another king, Oscar Isaac) is a major fucking dick. he's supposed to be an "anti-hero", but I fucking can't with this pre-Dylan-yet-somehow-still-a-Dylan-wannabe dickbag. On a different note, some of the music I really liked. This was a real 2013 throwback with all the Marcus Mumford features on the soundtrack. The other half of the music was shitty early folk shit that was not worth my time. I think my only issue with this film was how terrible Llewyn was/ I realized how hard it is to get into a film when the main character is so turn off-ish. The rest of the cast (this sounds like Oscar erassure, it's not I just hate Llewyn) was pretty great though, except for Timberlake because I fuckin hate that guy. So, in conclusion, yes to the Coens, no no nooo to Llewyn fuckin Davis, punk bitch.
Adam Assesment: Cute. Even if he was only there for a total of 5 minutes.
10. While We're Young (2014): Fuck Brooklyn
Let me clarify, Fuck white Brooklyn. And when I say white Brooklyn, I don't mean Eliza Hittman/ Requiem for a Dream Brooklyn, I mean L*na D*nham Brooklyn. While We're Young is about a middle age couple who befriend a younger hipster couple. I had some trouble with the hipster part, mainly because hipsters were fun to make fun of in like 2012 at the latest, but by the time this film came out, their over the top characterization was old and probably wouldn't have been funny even if it was ironic. This brings me to my next point which was, I can't tell if this film was shitting on millenials or gen-xer's. There was definitely some anti-young people boomertude present, but I couldn't tell if it was ironic/satirical or genuine. I need to know the answer to this so I can officially decide how I feel about Noah Baumbach. Side-note, I'm realizing that all four of the Baumbach-Driver films are in my top 10, which is surprising since I went into this not loving him. So, Noah, are your films smart and funny, or am I supposed to take them seriously because you take them way too seriously??
Adam Assessment: I didn't enjoy this, but he does play a good Brooklynite asshole so...
9. Hungry Hearts (2014): The original Marriage Story
I enjoyed this. It was a little pretentious, but it wasn't obnoxious. To sum it up quickly, Adam and this Italian (like, legit Italian, not Sopranos Italian) girl and subsequently get married/ have a kid/ get married because she's pregnant. She then proceeds to turn into a freak who barely eats and wont feed her kid anything but avocados and oil, which forces Adam to try and keep the kid alive behind her back by feeding it ham flavored baby food as if it's a cat or some shit. There was also a psychic involved, who told the wife that her in utero kid was something special, so like...... My two observations are: Adam is very much cute with the kids, but more importantly that the twist towards the end felt cheap. I was so mad with it at first that I had to pause the film and freak out, though luckily once I resumed and let it actually play out, it wasn't as stupid as I thought. I'm sorry this is so vague lol. And that's about it/ I would potentially suggest this as a double feature to Marriage story, key word "potentially".
Adam Assessment: I'm pretty sure this was the first of his "serious" roles I got to, which was definitely appreciated. There was no (jk, minimal) yelling and freakness on his behalf, and like I said before, he and the baby were a cute little duo.
8. Not Waving But Drowning (2012): I LOVE FEMALE FILM MAKING <3 ! <3 ! <3 ! <3 ! <3
Like I just said, I fucking love female led/directed/written films, especially the indie ones, even if they might be rough around the edges, I just love it ughhhh!!!! Devyn Waitt starts her film off with a prologue in the form of a somewhat unrelated short film, The Most Girl Part of You, which stared a way pre-Riverdale Lili Reinheart. The short film felt very Sofia/ Gia Coppola with its dark, retro-whimsy, while the feature had a much more distinguished tone, not that I'm complaining, I fuck with the short film. As for NWBD, I love that it privileged the friendship between its two leads. Half of the film follows Adele as she moves to NYC for the summer with the other half centering on Sara, who's stuck working at a Florida old folks home instead of moving with Adele. While Adele makes friends with all the wrong people, choosing to be cool over being rational, Sara befriends an older woman at her work. It should also be mentioned that Sara was held back from NYC due to a break in her dad's mental health. While it's not necessarily a critique, I do wish that Sara and Adele's places could've been switched. Sara was sweet and deserving of an opportunity like moving away from home, whereas Adele wasn't my favorite (sorry), and her character would've totally benefited from making friends with old ladies. But that's not the point, what is the point is that women film makers are the fucking best, and American female film makers somehow get less credit/notoriety than foreign women directors, which is fucked up. Lastly, I just want to confess to my mistakes real quick and say that I almost didn't watch this. Because I was only watching films where Adam was at least somewhat prominently featured, and also because he was usually way in the background in his early films, I decided that this was off my list. But then, I decided to watch the trailer for NWBD just to make sure I wasn't missing out on something good, and thank fucking god I did. I guess the point of this was that I've shat on pretty much all of his early characters, and I wish I'd watched this film in chronological order instead of thrown in randomly towards the end. Which brings me to...
Adam Assessment: I'm into this character. I mean again I wish that Sara was the one in NYC so she could've been with him because Adele did not deserve him, at all. More importantly, I liked this performance a lot, it felt super genuine, almost like he wasn't acting, and I fuck with that.
7. Meyerowitz Stories (2017): Noah has finally conquered humor
I enjoyed this mainly because it was genuinely funny. It was a lot funnier than Baumbach's other attempts at humor that often come off as pretentious (as I previously mentioned). Adam Sandler was really great in this, I remember him getting a lot of Oscar buzz for this, and though I don't remember who the 2017 best actor nominees were, I would've been okay with a nom for Adam (*Sandler, I am realizing now that two Adams may be confusing). Speaking of other Adam, he was only in this for legit 4 minutes, but this movie was also really great so I don't really care about that.
Adam Assessment: As I said, literally 4 minutes, and honestly, I'm feeling like it was less than that. I'm starting to think that he's the Michael Shannon to Noah's Jeff Nichols (btw I'm pretty sure I saw a clip out there of Michael and Adam interviewing eachother, which... ughhh)
6. Star Wars VIII (2017): Marry me Rian Johnson!!!!!
This is just the absolute fucking best. This shit renewed my love for SW, so obviously she was gonna get ranked pretty high.
Adam Assessment: Yessssssss. We all know I love Kylo, but this is his best performance out of all three of the films, and low key, one of the best of his career, which says a lot since we're dealing with a SW/Disney film.
5. Frances Ha (2012): Ladybird the 1st
This was not only the first movie I watched as a part of this hell trip, but also the first Baumbach film I'd seen, as well as him and Adam's first collab. This had been on my list since 2014-ish, which is how I discovered Greta Gerwig, and of course I let it sit on my list until I had a "reason" to watch it (I'm ashamed). Like I mentioned earlier, I have trouble deciding whether the pretentious-ness of Noah's films is a smart joke, or completely serious, which was also a preconception I had about his films before I'd even seen one. I'm definitely glad that Frances Ha was were I started with his films. I like that it feels smaller than some of his later films (clearly I'm not shitting on said later films bc they're all in my top ten), but more importantly, because I'm pretty sure Ms. Gerwig had heavy influence over this film. I know at this point it's way too late to suggest this, but I'd watch this before Ladybird (I HAD THREE FUCKING YEARS TO DO THIS AND I DIDN'T !!). Even though Ladybird would be the prequel, I say fuck chronology, Frances is definitely a projection of Greta, which made the Ladybird/Christine as a version of Greta characterization make so much more sense. In all the interviews with Greta that I've seen/read/listened to, she seems somewhat shy and super intellectual, whereas Ladybird is lowkey batshit, so seeing Frances, who's fun and scrappy and confident, just made me a) love Greta even more, but also b) appreciate Ladybird's character more. Also, plot wise, Frances Ha is about a girl in her late-ish 20's living out her post grad NYC fantasy, which can be assumed is exactly what happens after the screen cuts to black in Ladybird. My favorite part of the film was the section that takes place in Frances' (and Greta and Ladybirds') hometown of Sacramento. While Greta's influence was apparent in the rest of the film it was still obvious that you were watching Baumbach's work. However, the Sacramento scenes were another confused, yet genuine love letter to the city straight from Greta's pov. I feel like Noah was like "let me handle NYC, and you can deal with that California bs", and I'm glad that decision was made. I'm rambling... literally none of what I just said was coherent, so I'll end this with saying that Frances Ha is fucking great. If you love Greta or Ladybird or just girl led movies in general, this should be the next film you watch (though if you love all of those things then you should have already seen this, this is a call out on myself FYI). However... if you like Adam, then you might not enjoy this, because...
Adam Assesment: Lev Shapiro is a DICK, jesus fucking christ. This is the second Adam/Baumbach character that has had a record collection and wore hats, which are red flags 1 and 2. This character is why I hate men. And that's all I have to say about that. But also, #FUCKMEN2020
4. Logan Lucky (2017): Country boy I loove you, uhhhmmmm :p
I'm not gonna lie, I had to stan this mainly for the Charlotte content (though to be fair the race track is NOT in Charlotte, idc what it's name is). But there are also many other reasons to love this movie. I found that Knives Out reminded me a ton of this film. Was it the ensemble cast/ Daniel Craig doing a southern accent, maybe, but both films are also manage to be extremely smart and well plotted while also being fun as hell. Like borderline stupid fun, but also smart if that makes sense. I love the fact that that in contrast to the usual sleek and dark tone of heist films, Soderbergh was like "no, I want NASCAR and West Virginia". To be honest, it's been at least a year, maybe two since I've seen this, so this "review" is probably going to be short, but I just really fucking enjoy this movie and I'm so disappointed it (like Knives Out) was ignored at the Oscars. Also, Channing Tatum is so much more than Magic Mike and a pretty face (debatable), and he deserves to be taken seriously (sidenote: I saw a video of him and our man at a car seat headrest concert together, so like we must support).
Adam Assesment: I'm gonna be real with y'all, that accent was sus as fuck. I may love him, but I'm going to go ahead and make the executive decision that he doesn't need to be playing a country boy anytime soon.
Disclaimer!!!: I had written all of this post up until this point back in May right after I'd finished watching all the films, yet for some reason it has taken 3+ months for me to write these last 3 entries. Because of this, I've had a lot of time to both forget and think way too much about these 3 films, and therefore I can't say that my opinions on these films are the same as they were back in May, but... I stand by my ranking and so that's it.
3. Midnight Special (2016): I LOVE U SO MUCH JEFFF!!!!!!
Where's the new content Jeff, it's been 4 years...I'm waiting. Just kidding, love u<3 Jeff's the only male director I respect... Okay and Rian too because I'm not about to neglect that lovely, lovely, talented little man. I remember being so hype when this came out because it would be the first Nichols film I got to see in the theater, they had the poster/ cardboard display out and everything at my favorite movie theater (Park Terrace RIP, she's not dead she just succumbed to a life of reclining seats and blockbuster films) and yet somehow... someHOW it never came to Charlotte. Like, the fuck??! Our man Jeff went to UNCSA and the theaters of NC couldn't be bothered to show his alien masterwork???? That being said when I did finally get to see it months later I was very, very pleased, though I just fucking know this would've looked great on the big screen but whatever. Moving on, Jeff has mastered the genre-bender family drama. Midnight Special builds on the sci-fi elements of Take Shelter as well as the thriller/chase/ whimsy of Mud. Where Mud is his take on Stand By Me and Huckleberry Finn, Midnight Special takes after ET in a very "Jeff does Spielberg" way. And like his previous three films, as well as his second film of 2016, Loving, family plays a central role. Michael Shannon's character, similar to his role in Take Shelter , is intensely protective of his family in a way that reflects Nichols' own fears of keeping his kid/family safe. Nichols' films also build on each other ambition wise and somehow manage to not only get better with each new film, but constantly push the boundaries of what a Jeff Nichols film is. Shotgun Stories is very much an "I just got out of film school" film, but it is extremely successful in it's ability to create a voice/tone for his future body of work. Take Shelter manages to explore sci-fi and apocalyptic themes without going either biblical or full on disaster (also every time I see storm clouds my mind starts playing the "THERE IS A STORRRMMM COMINGG" rant in Michaels voice which automatically makes me audibly crack up in public which is iconic as fuck). Mud is a successful coming of age film in its ability to be both cute and heartbreaking without being gross and cheesy. It's also a great exploration of the southern gothic thriller, which blends seamlessly with the coming of age themes, so if you're looking for examples of this genre morph/ Mud's influence, The Peanut Butter Falcon captures this perfectly (potential double feature??). With Midnight Special Nichols not only pushed genre further with it being a straight up alien/cult/chase flick, but his use of vfx is perfect and could've gone so wrong but it went so so right. And finally (though somewhat unrelated) Loving, which should feel like somewhat of a regression content wise, still follows his growing exploration with every film. Something about making a sweet and dialed down love story the same year as his most ambitious film yet just makes sense, and his exploring of a non genre story is equally as exciting as aliens and river shootouts. I know that this is supposed to be about Midnight Special, but the point I'm trying to make with this is that Jeff Nichols is fucking great and I would trust him to tell any story. This is turning into a whole essay about Jeff, but there is something I have to talk about which is how he writes his endings. If you've read any of my posts, you'd know how much I adore ambiguity, especially with an ending, and Jeff is the absolute master of it. You can always tell how good a film maker is at this based on how many people they piss off, and people did not like the ending of Midnight Special, which them being pissed at this pisses me off. I'm stopping now because no one but me asked for this. JK I lied, Sam Shepard is in this which may have biased my love for this film.
Adam Assessment: This was Adam's first film post Star Wars, and I love that it's a fucking alien movie (bc space = SW). His character is in no way the most memorable of the film, but that being said he's pretty cute and chill even though he works for the FBI/CIA idk which one but their both fucking nasty.
Disclaimer 2!!!!: It has now been 3 months since my last disclaimer which means it's been 6-ish months since I've seen these last two films, and like I said earlier I've had way too much time to both forget and obsess over these films (mostly Marriage Story lol). Without further ado, please enjoy my anti-Baumbach propaganda.
2. Marriage Story (2019): There's nothing quite like white millennial divorce
As I mentioned earlier, I've had a lot of time to think about these last 2 films, and most (actually all) of those thoughts have been about this film. I know that literally stated multiple times in this post that I'm okay with Baumbach, and after letting this man sit rent free in my mind for the past 3 months, I've come to the conclusion that I don't love Mr. Greta's husband. Before I start complaining I would like to say that obviously I didn't hate this film, in fact I thought it was actually really good. I had to watch it in two settings, partly because I had an exam the next day and didn't want to stay up too late, but also because I sobbed the entire first half of the film and knowing it could only get sadder, decided to spare myself. Which is funny because, I only cried twice the second half. Turns out I'd forgotten my meds for a few days which is the excuse I have for crying so fucking much. Part of me would like to rewatch it to see if the first half is actually as sad as it was for me so I can prove my excuse right, but I also am not willing to sit through two hours of insufferable millennial whites being insufferable again. With that out of the way, here's why I'm confused about this film/ a newly minted anti-Baumbach-er. Marriage Story is literally Noah's self-insert divorce fanfic of a film. This man literally said " boohoo I'm a rich white guy, nobody feels sorry for me" and decided to take pity on himself by making a sob story semi-autobiographical film. It's also worth noting that he keeps casting Adam as his self-insert characters to boost his ego. Noah sweetie, I see right through your bullshit. Lastly on the Baumbach front, this man literally wrote Madagascar 3 to fund his divorce. He literally wrote the words: "Ra da da da da da da da Circus, Da da da da da da da da, Afro Circus, Afro Circus, Afro, Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, Afro!" to pay for the fact that he was going broke because he cheated on his wife, and then had the AUDacitY to to give his self-insert character a MacArthur Genius grant to pay for his divorce in the film. We really gotta stop these yt men. Moving on from the Noah rant, legit all of the characters in this film are terrible, save for Alan Alda and the sister. Like even the kid fucking sucks. And I'm in no way saying that a film needs to have likeable characters, because that's definitely not true, but at a certain point they have to be redeemable for reasons other than that they're hot. Yes, Scarlett, Adam, and Laura were beautiful in this but that made absolutely no difference me potentially liking them. It was somewhat exhausting trying to feel sorry for them because of how terrible they were. Thank fucking god they split up, because jesus christ they were a threat to society as a couple. I mean they were a horrific on their own because they're both so insufferable, and in a way because of that they were perfect for each other. Scarlett's character was really only bad because she went behind his back to seek a divorce, but Adam... sir fuck you. Like, I'm kind of having trouble liking him after this because he played that entitled theatre-y white boy with a god-complex a little bit too well. Lastly, because this was torture to both read and write. Even though Laura's character was a real bitch, I really loved her in this role. Ms. Dern plays a rich Californian bitch so well, y'all really tough the woman who gave us "I WILL NOT NOT BE FUCKING RICH", miss Renata Fucking Klein, wasn't going to give this role her all. Alas, Laura Dern is the only winner of Marriage Story. Wait, lastly, it is somewhat worth noting that if we're going to call this an autobiographical fanfic, that we have to acknowledge that Greta's character is the girl that Adam cheats with, we must accept the truth even if it hurts.
Adam Assessment: I'm really trying to separate the performance from him, but it's sort of hard. As much as I really fucking hate Charlie, Adam was really good in this, and deserving of the oscar nom. Lol low key I hope he never wins an oscar, idk why that's funny to me, but it fucking is. Like if he keeps getting nominated and losing over and over again I will pee my pants that shit would be so funny.
1. Blackkklansman (2018): We all agree he was a little too comfy saying that word
I would like to start by sincerely apologizing to this film, because in the many months I've spent obsessing over my hatred for Baumbach, and neglecting this post, I have somewhat forgotten about how much I like this film. Obviously I loved it enough to rank it one, and stand by that ranking when I've had a whole year to rearrange the post, but I'm sort of forgetting all the little details. Because of both that, and the fact that this post is verging on James Joyce length, I'll genuinely keep this short. I felt like this was a perfect Spike Lee film. It was the first of his that I got to see in theaters, and because of that I think it's a great introduction to his filmography for people who haven't seen one of his films yet. It's funny, and smart, and serious, and 1000% Spike Lee which I love. My only ish, is that Adam's character said every slur under the sun with to much confidence and too little hesitation, which before you say it, yes I know he was undercover and it would've jeopardized the job, but for all of the "this is hard for me because I'm Jewish and my name's Zimmerman" subplot, you'd think he would've hesitated just a little bit. Wait, last thing, I really liked the call back to the Charlottesville riots because the whole time I'd been watching the film I was waiting for Spike's in your face political message, and I'd been feeling like he was sort of teetering on the edge of delivering until the end when I was expecting the credits and was treated to21st century Klansmen, a Heather Heyer tribute, and the inverted flag. Also I saw the film the day it came out, which I had no clue was purposely released on the 1 year anniversary of Charlottesville, so the more you know.
Adam Assessment: I really did not like hearing those words come out of our mans mouth good god, like I'm not faulting him for it and it makes me feel better knowing that Spike Lee was obviously down with it, but ooooh weeee that was not at all fun. Also major shout out to the bitch on tiktok who made a whole ass powerpoint proving why Adam's character isn't the guy in the clan robes at the end of the film by basically palm reading Adam and the klansman. You are doing gods work, and it did not go unappreciated.
well that fucking sucked, if you hoped I'd never post part 2 then you were right.
.... better hope I never post again....
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